Arts and sciences

While Candace was basking in her laurels as a celebrated young author, Sarah and Thomas were collecting major awards in the fine arts. The Ashland Junior Women's Club sponsors a fine arts festival, and many of the local children had artwork displayed, as well as artists from around the area. Sarah received a purple ribbon, the highest award, for her drawing of a city street.

Sarah's artwork

Sarah really enjoys painting and drawing, so it was fun for her to receive some recognition for her work. The preschool aged children receive participation ribbons for their efforts... Thomas once again opted for the self-portrait, this time featuring a many-armed version of himself.

Thomas' self-portrait of himself in a parallel dimension.

Today, science got mixed into the excitement as Candace found a fossilized shell somewhere in our yard. She was excited when she thought it was an ordinary shell; she was thrilled that it was an ancient fossil!

The young paleontologist displays her find.

"I miss my cow."

This isn't the house that Thomas was born in, but it looks very much like it. Sometimes when we are in the car, Thomas will tell me stories about things he remembers from Ethiopia. This is becoming more frequent now that he is fairly fluent in English.

Traditional house in southern Ethiopia.

Today he told me a very detailed story about the time that the family cow gave birth. It featured many family members and clearly this event had made a big impression on his young mind. There was a happy ending as the white mama cow and the red baby cow all made it through okay.

Some cows I roomed with in Bora, Ethiopia.

I asked Thomas to repeat the story at dinner, which segued into a discussion about all kinds of things the littles' remember about Ethiopia. After the twins had finished eating and gone off to take a bath, Thomas was left at the table with Tom and I, lots of dinner on his plate because he had spent so much time talking. He was telling us about saying good-bye to family members when his little face bunched up and he began weeping sadly. At first, Tom and I were just shocked... we shouldn't have been, of course, but... this is the first time Thomas has cried at all about losing his home and his family. I picked him up and he just sagged into me, clinging for comfort. Also a first; an embrace that felt real. All three of us just stood there together, our hearts breaking.

After just a few minutes, it was over. We reassured him that it was okay to be sad and he could tell us whenever he felt that way. Tears were dried, and off he went, his normal cheerful self, to find his sisters to play with.

I think we just had a breakthrough here.

One year ago today....

... Tom and I met a very special boy.
Our son, Feyissa Thomas Spears.

A young author

Last Friday, Tom and I were thrilled to celebrate with Candace as she received the Young Authors Award for her class. We are big readers and writers around here, and we try to encourage our children to love the written word as well. There is one student selected from each of the elementary classrooms. It makes us especially proud that Candace's story was chosen since she has only been speaking English for two and a half years.

Daddy and young author Candace

Candace displaying her certificate.

The Young Authors of 2012

And now... drum roll, please...
the award winning writing of Miss Candace Spears:

Short and sweet!

Moms' weekend

I had a lovely time Friday night and Saturday with our beautiful oldest daughter Emily. It was Moms' Weekend at her sorority. I have never been able to come before because I couldn't take the time away from the twins. This year, the neediness level has decreased and the timing was right.

On Friday night, we went out to a Mexican place for dinner and then back to my hotel, where we relaxed in the hot tub for awhile before going upstairs to watch TV. It was nice to just have time to chat with my sweet girl.

On Saturday, AOII moms and daughters gathered for lunch at a nice restaurant.

Isn't Emily pretty?

After lunch we headed to the sorority house for a gift basket auction fundraiser. Moms donated gift baskets with various themes and then they were auctioned off with the proceeds going to the house. There were lots of creative baskets and a live auctioneer!

My contribution was an Ethiopian coffee themed basket.

After dessert, I took Emily shopping and then headed home in time to tell the kids good night. It was a very nice little trip for me.

In other "mom" news, I am getting very excited to meet my BEMM sponsor mom, Saba, when I travel to Ethiopia next month. I ordered these necklaces from Funky Fish Designs, one for each of us. I hope they will help us to feel connected when I return home after our trip.

Matching necklaces for moms who live a world apart.

Normal stuff

I've been having trouble coming up with an interesting topic for a post... and guess what? I still don't have one! I think it may be because things are actually... NORMAL around here. Normal, as in very little drama beyond what most *average* families experience. Wow. I won't jinx it by pretending it will last.

Thomas has been learning to play by himself. He loves Legos and he also likes to play make believe games involving lots of weird noises that imitate gunfire. He really likes to play anything with his big brother Kenneth.

Thomas driving his Lego plane through the
fast food lane of the restaurant he made.

Thomas and Kenneth engage in an action packed
card game of war.

In other developments, Miss Sylvia Kittywhiskens has made it unscathed to a teen kitty. She is still mighty darn cute. Candace is very nurturing with her, which warms my heart. She also shows great patience with her, which is a miracle by most standards.

Sarah and Candace snuggling with a semi-cooperative Sylvia.

Finally, I have recently discovered at least one very strange thing going on at our house. Apparently, Lucy the cat is moonlighting as a ninja.

Lucy appears to be sleeping in the dog bed,
but she is ever vigilant with her weapon at the ready.

Toothless but artistic

Thomas has had a couple of permanent bottom incisors growing behind his baby teeth for a few weeks now. He was finally persuaded this weekend to yank out the stubborn baby teeth so the big ones could move into their rightful positions. I do not like to pull teeth, but luckily Candace was only too eager to help with this operation. Thomas really was thrilled, although it doesn't appear so below. His natural smile hides his lower teeth and I kept saying "I can't see your teeth!"

Thomas displaying his new smile, or in this case, grimace.
New teeth are already visible on the bottom!

In contrast, I offer up this adorable self-portrait that Thomas brought home today. The lips are a sticker... but I found them particularly suitable, as Thomas does have very lush lips.

A self portrait by the artist Thomas.

Comfort object

This is my dad's shirt. It is currently on my body. I have worn this shirt at least part of every single day since my dad's funeral on December 20. (No need for concern; I have washed it frequently.) I sleep with it at night... I can't wear it, because as a woman of a certain age, I just find it's too hot. I like having it it to hold. My dad went to college at General Motors Institute in Flint, Michigan. It became just plain old GMI when General Motors divested itself of the educational business in 1982. Then sometime in the 90's it lost that name as well and became Kettering University. But to me, it is GMI and is forever associated with General Motors and my daddy.

This is my new favorite shirt. It's also a lovey or what is more scientifically called a comfort object. I guess that's okay. I like thinking that my dad's arms were in these same sleeves. There is some yellow paint on one of the sleeves where either he or my mom must have worn it while painting their house. I like that too.

I have been dreaming about my dad a lot. Usually they are comforting dreams that feature the daddy of my childhood. Sometimes they are sad. I like having a physical thing of my dad's to hold onto when I'm sad. I love my dad and I miss him so much. I'm glad I have his shirt.

A not so tough guy

Sometimes even tough guys like Indy need
to get in touch with their nurturing side.

Winter makes an appearance

We have had a very mild, mostly sunny winter here; highly unusual. But last night, winter finally made an appearance with our first heavy snow of the season. The littles got themselves suited up and outside well before lunch.

Candace surveys the scene.

The intrepid adventurers

Posing with their completed snowman and snowbaby.

The start of the "biggest snowman ever".

Warming up with hot tea and cocoa.

Indiana Jones

One thing that can be difficult for kids who have spent time in an institutionalized setting is creative play. Thomas sometimes has difficulty amusing himself without direction from a parent or one of his sisters, so I am always happy when I discover him immersed in some game of his own making. Today, our young adventurer was practicing his skill with a "bullwhip" he made himself with a flute cleaning rod and a long piece of leftover fleece fabric.

The young Indy and his trusty whip.

Crack it!

Another family skill learned... pets are fun to cuddle.

Injera!

We have made Ethiopian food at our house several times since adopting the twins in 2009, and the food has always been good. Our downfall has been coming up with good, homemade injera. For Christmas this year, I got Tom an injera making kit from Village Thread. The kit came with a cute "Got Injera?" t-shirt, the ingredients for injera and the cookbook You Can Make Injera. I also bought Tom a cooker that I found recommended somewhere... it is a Silverstone Heritage Lesfe Grill and we bought it online at Target. The lid (which you need) is sold separately and you can order it directly from the company after you get your grill.

After carefully following the directions, Tom was able to make some darn good injera. It tasted just right. The hardest part was probably pouring it out and removing it from the pan. Tom watched the guest house cooks in Ethiopia make injera, and I think seeing how they did it was helpful.

Tom's injera

He also made a meat dish and a vegetarian dish to go with it.
It was all delicious!

The littles digging in... I'm always amazed how much
they eat on Ethiopian food night!

p.s. I think the injera kit from Village Thread was a seasonal item, but they have lots of other great Ethiopian items and the sales benefit two great charities... check them out!

Life goes on

I have posted much lately, because since my dad died, I just haven't felt like doing much of anything that requires a lot of thought or effort. But it is true... life does go on, and even though my sadness is still great, I don't think my dad would want me to be missing the small joys of daily life. Our children are with us for such a short time before they venture out on their own; it would be wrong to try not to enjoy every possible minute. (Thank you Kristen, for a timely reminder on your Facebook page the other day!)

So here are just some random moments from the last few days:

My favorite jeans got a giant rip in the butt... no longer appropriate on a woman approaching the age of 50, no matter how attractive she may be. These jeans are pretty ancient and have seen me through many a day... including being the one pair of jeans I took on my BEMM trip to Ethiopia in November of 2010. Good-bye, beloved denim friend. (Cue dramatic music here)

Sarah in rapt attention with her Nintendo DS


Candace said, "I wonder how come if I got a guitar for Christmas, I can't play it right?" We took this as a hint and Tom taught her how to hold it and how to hold the strings down with her fingers... I guess real lessons may be in order soon.

A happy future rock star.


Whenever I take a picture of anybody,
Thomas comes running over pleading "Picture me!"


This is just a gratuitous photo of the adorable
Miss Sylvia Kittywhiskens.

My dangerous pasttime

I read something recently in the Omaha World-Herald that got me thinking... "A dangerous past-time.." "I know." *

Anyway.

The article was written by local columnist Rainbow Rowell and it deals with gender roles and toys. I will wait here patiently while you read or skim it, which will save me a lot of time recapping the article. Lazy, yes. I've had a hard month; indulge me.

Okay. So what I was thinking today is that when it comes to gender roles, many people (and by this I mean mostly, but certainly not exclusively, women) seem to get quite bent out of shape by any toy, television show, product etc. that goes out of its way to appeal to girls by being... well, girlie. Some examples are the pink Legos mentioned by Rainbow, Disney princesses, Barbie etc. It's like being a girlie girl is letting down the people who worked so hard for women's rights or something.

Why?

I have boys and girls, and my personal experience is that they are just wired differently. Sure, sometimes my little boys played with dolls, or dressed up in princess dresses and jewelry. Sure, sometimes my little girls ran around the house hacking down imaginary enemies with their sword fighting skills. But really, I think that most girls are just naturally wired to enjoy "pretty" things and most boys are looking for some action and adventure. So why do so many these days feel embarrassed if their little girls want to act like GIRLS?

Maybe this is just another example of how the traditional roles of girls and women in society is just not valued as much as the traditional role of boys and men. We want our girls to go out and DO things. Don't just be suckered in by that cute baby or pretty dress, darn it! We are appalled that in the third world, girls are frequently treated as lesser citizens, not even worth educating in many places. But aren't we subtly saying the same thing about the worth of being a girl when we discourage girls from choosing a certain toy or activity or maybe even a career... just because of it's "girliness"?

Maybe I'm just sensitive since my career of choice is the girliest one of all... stay at home mom. I don't wear pearls and a nice dress while vacuuming and I don't want to... but I don't have a burning desire to be out in the wide world performing engineering time studies, either. (I did that. In another life... long ago.) I like to wear pretty clothes, I like to take care of babies and I'm a sucker for makeup in cute little packages. I totally would have loved My Little Pony (with combable hair!) and pink Lego sets if they were around when I was little. I remember my mom making me a Cinderella costume for Halloween when I was in the second grade, and one of my prized possessions was a coat that had a fake fur collar that I lovingly referred to as my "big buffy coat". I loved Barbies. I also had my own Tonka dump truck. And look, I grew up mostly normal.

If you have a daughter who happens to like trucks, Hot Wheels and ninja stuff, I don't have a problem with that. And my son loves his baby doll. Obviously, there is a lot of cross-over for both genders in their interests at any given time. But I think that we need to give little girls a break and let them know that it is definitely okay to be a girlie girl. Without apology. Because being a boy is great. And being a girl is great, too.



* See lyrics from Disney's Beauty and the Beast