Thursday, July 14, 2011

Like a hot potato

One thing I have noticed after two international adoptions... and this is a caveat for those of you contemplating undertaking this journey or in the early stages... is how quickly the agency/client relationship diminishes after you walk through your front door with your new child. You have developed a relationship with the agency, a very needy one that involves anxious emails and phone calls and the writing of large checks. Maybe a large part of your week revolved around when you would hear some news, any news, from the people at the agency, the people who seemed to almost control your future. And then, you're home and... nothing. No emails, no phone calls... you are done. Complete. Maybe you get a "welcome home" packet detailing how your post-placement reports should be filed, with a list of "resources" for you in case of problems. I don't know... even though I was expecting it this time, it still just feels so abrupt. Like, "Hey, I just added a whole kid here to the family... and you're just leaving me to my own devices? What's up with that?"

Fortunately, we are having an easy transition this time around. So far. So I guess we learned some things the first time. But I wouldn't turn down a friendly "how's it going?" phone call or email from the agency people.

Edited: I just want to add that I feel that in general this is something that agencies can improve on... I'm not picking on specific people. It's much like sending moms and newborns home from the hospital with a wave and a "good luck!" , which is pretty much what happens. However, this is my blog, and I should be able to post about my feelings regardless. And my feeling, whether truly warranted or not, is the panicky feeling of suddenly being on my own.