Wednesday, January 12, 2011

It IS a good thing

I know I've been a posting slacker.

Truthfully, I have been in kind of an emotional slump about the adoption, and I didn't know what to say without sounding whiny. I guess I'm just going to go ahead and whine, so faithful readership (all five or six of you), bear with me.

I'm getting pretty excited about bringing my new son home. For awhile, I was distracted by other things going on at our house, but I've reached a point where I can kind of breathe and think about the future... we're getting a son! And I'm excited! And yet...

Why do I have this vaguely guilty notion about the whole thing? Well, I'll tell you why... because of the onslaught of anti-international adoption writing I have come across. Even in the so-called online "support" groups, it seems like someone is constantly lamenting the poor integrity of international adoptions, or the corruption, or the greed or the suffering of birth families... the list could go on and on.

Yes, those things exist. Way more than they should. Yes, every happy adoptive family comes at the loss of a birth family. But no, I don't think that makes all international adoption suspect. I think international adoption can be, and in many cases is, a good thing. I can't help but notice that frequently, the ones who decry the adoption process the most are people who already have their adoptive child home. It was fine for them, at the time they adopted, but now... sigh. It just bothers me.

I don't know anyone who wants an unethical adoption. I certainly don't. I learned a lot from our first adoption. I knew which agencies to avoid at all costs, and which ones were generally good agencies. There is no perfect agency. I knew questions to ask, things to look for, and I'm satisfied that the waiting child we are adopting has accurately been portrayed.

I also feel like a lot of people think my husband and I have just plain gone crazy. We have our hands full with five pets and five kids and Tom is just buying a small manufacturing business and why the heck would we do this adoption thing again? At our ages?

I worry a lot about orphans and widows and poverty in Africa, particularly in Ethiopia, a country I have grown to love. I know that international adoption isn't going to solve the world's orphan crisis, or eradicate poverty. I believe that God put Ethiopia in my heart to show me that I can help make a difference there. I am equally certain that my calling from God is to nurture children, and that this child was put in our path for a reason. I am excited to welcome him home and to begin to help him heal his heart and love him as my son. I am excited for our family to experience the joy of a little brother. Won't you be excited for us, too?