Monday, August 15, 2011

Why, God?

I am a cradle Catholic, raised my whole life in the Catholic church. I have raised my own children in the faith. For the last several years, I have been trying very hard to devote more of myself and my daily life to God and listening to his calling; praying daily for discernment, for aid and to praise Him. I have rejoiced when I could see the answers to my prayers blessing myself and others.

But something has happened which is challenging me... I just don't understand how this could be God's plan.

A family has waited for their son from Ethiopia for over a year. They finally go to court in March. They leave believing they have passed that hurdle. After coming home, they receive the news that they in fact did not; more paperwork is required by the court. They wait. They wait some more. One by one, all of the other families in their group pass, but they are still waiting. Some of us pray and pray and pray. Finally, months later, they pass. Four days later, a massive orphanage closing goes on in Ethiopia, throwing all kinds of doubt into the process and shifting children around. I, however, am convinced that by the hand of God, they passed in the nick of time and all will be well. I am SURE all will be well. No matter that the new orphanage will not release their child to the agency transition home; it is surely a paperwork glitch and all will be well. I confidently share my opinion with the family that all will be well.

All is not well.

This family was told today that the regional MOWA in Awassa has indicated that they will not be releasing their child to them, ever. I don't know why. I don't know how this can even be. I don't know what will happen to this little boy. I am horrified, saddened and heartbroken. I am wondering how this can be what God wants... how is this part of the plan?

My faith is shaken. I am shaken. I feel like a sham; having shared my fruitless words of comfort, only to have this terrible outcome occur anyway.

The funny thing is, though, I don't know anything else that I can do. So I will pray. Pray for understanding, pray for healing, pray for comfort... pray for this family. Pray for my own faith.

Postscript: I found out later today that this situation is faced by five families of CHSFS. I know three of the families personally. The regional MOWA officials are planning to place the children back with birth families "if possible" and otherwise the children will be institutionalized. All of the families have valid court decrees from the Federal First Instance Court.