I am stuck in some kind of winter doldrums. I have found myself sitting in front of my keyboard on several occasions, determined to write an interesting blog post... but no words come. I wanted to write about the adoption summit we attended, but no words would come. I wanted to write about race and adoption, but no words would come. I thought about many different topics, really... but I just can't seem to get the words from my brain down to the keys on my computer.
This time of year is always hard for me, with the shorter days and cold and often gloomy weather. It seems worse to me now; maybe because I am still having problems from my shoulder surgery in December and maybe because I am having some other physical issues that are dragging me down. I am so tired.
Sometimes, I also find myself thinking that out of the thousands (millions ?) of blogs in the blogosphere, who cares what is happening at my house? My blog is mainly for me because I like to write. I do like to share pictures of the family. But gosh, what is the point? Nothing I have to say is going to influence the course of world events... or even local ones!
Okay, now I've depressed myself.
This time of year is always hard for me, with the shorter days and cold and often gloomy weather. It seems worse to me now; maybe because I am still having problems from my shoulder surgery in December and maybe because I am having some other physical issues that are dragging me down. I am so tired.
Sometimes, I also find myself thinking that out of the thousands (millions ?) of blogs in the blogosphere, who cares what is happening at my house? My blog is mainly for me because I like to write. I do like to share pictures of the family. But gosh, what is the point? Nothing I have to say is going to influence the course of world events... or even local ones!
Okay, now I've depressed myself.
5 comments:
Every time you put your words out there, it creates a little ripple -- like tossing a rock into a lake. That ripple goes out far beyond what you can see. You may not know the effects of your words this side of Heaven, but you ARE making a difference!
Paula. You matter. You count. Your voice is important. It's also deep dark ducking winter!. Take care of yourself
Ditto to the above replies! I'd think it was a number of things, too. Seasonal Affective Disorder is one of the demons I battle as well. In your case, you might add that to the continuing process of grieving...the good news is, it will get better. You know that the gloominess of this season will not last forever. I just want to encourage you. And I appreciate the guts it takes to share THIS part of you.
I love reading your blog and watching your babies grow up! I feel the same way about my blog - it doesn't matter... but every once in awhile I put something out there and I get a personal message reminding me that it mattered to one person. I also mainly write for myself. I love to get what I'm feeing out in a medium where I can SEE it, rather than just feel it all swirling around in my head.
As for the winter blahs... I have them too. We get a taste of summer weather early every once in awhile here in SC and I'm not sure if that makes it harder or easier. Anyway, I long for my days by the pool with my kids and thankfully that comes early and stays long in SC!
Spring will be here before you know it! Keep writing!
Charity
Hi Paula. you don't know me, but I follow your blog. you have interesting observations and seem to be a sincere person. What you say does matter. What you think is interesting. There are probably other people like me who read your blog because they enjoy it. Also, I guess, I would say that I like what your write because it is real. I was tired for like 10 years, seriously, and it turned out that I suffered from depression. Who would have thought that . ..
Please keep writing. I hope we meet someday (I also have a daughter adopted from Ethiopia, which is how I found your blog in the first place.
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