Thursday, July 14, 2011

Like a hot potato

Dropped...
One thing I have noticed after two international adoptions... and this is a caveat for those of you contemplating undertaking this journey or in the early stages... is how quickly the agency/client relationship diminishes after you walk through your front door with your new child. You have developed a relationship with the agency, a very needy one that involves anxious emails and phone calls and the writing of large checks. Maybe a large part of your week revolved around when you would hear some news, any news, from the people at the agency, the people who seemed to almost control your future. And then, you're home and... nothing. No emails, no phone calls... you are done. Complete. Maybe you get a "welcome home" packet detailing how your post-placement reports should be filed, with a list of "resources" for you in case of problems. I don't know... even though I was expecting it this time, it still just feels so abrupt. Like, "Hey, I just added a whole kid here to the family... and you're just leaving me to my own devices? What's up with that?"

Fortunately, we are having an easy transition this time around. So far. So I guess we learned some things the first time. But I wouldn't turn down a friendly "how's it going?" phone call or email from the agency people.

Edited: I just want to add that I feel that in general this is something that agencies can improve on... I'm not picking on specific people. It's much like sending moms and newborns home from the hospital with a wave and a "good luck!" , which is pretty much what happens. However, this is my blog, and I should be able to post about my feelings regardless. And my feeling, whether truly warranted or not, is the panicky feeling of suddenly being on my own.


7 comments:

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lisa said...

P.S. We used to have a program where we called families 1 month after their adoption, 6 months, and12 months after to see how things were going. Families didn't seem to like it and felt we were calling to "check up on them". We discontinued that program due to negative results. I guess every family is different.

Paula said...

I removed Lisa's earlier comment since the whole thing was already on my FB page. Just making sure there is truth in advertising here.

Jennifer said...

Hopefully instead of being insulted they will take it constructively and add to their post placement program to include regular phone and email contact. I got ONE phone call and a general newsletter...that's it. I totally agree, don't they want to make sure, at the very least, that the child is coping and asjusting and be able to offer some tips and assistance if needed?

Shannon- said...

like button

Becky and Naing said...

well said, we got a call when we came home but I really didn't even have my feet on the ground then.

Xander and Alana (but mostly Alana) said...

It's totally true. When we called our agency afterwards, they were like, "Can't you call your social worker?" Although I will say that when we expressed how much we needed their help with something, they totally stepped up. But it did take some asking.