Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Moving foward

Sometimes I think that Candace and I have come a long way in our relationship. I know now that she does love me. She knows that I love her. I believe she trusts me to keep her safe and to stay with her always.

Then something might happen, like school starts. Things are "new". Different. Maybe a little scary. And all of our great progress seems to go right out the window. Back to the volatile behavior; "I love you, Mommy" one minute directly segues into a toddler-like wailing tantrum the next. It is so draining. And I frequently find myself responding in a less than positive way.

Time to remember that my sweet little girl is a work in progress. I tell people that my littles have been broken, and we need to help them mend. But it's so easy to forget in the heat of the moment and just be angry at what appears to be juvenile and manipulative behavior. Behavior that is really a cry for reassurance and structure.

The steps backward are discouraging, but I think overall we have gone mostly forward. I'm going to try to stay mindful... mindful of the needs of a little person who has had an awful lot of very hard things happen in her short life. To let her know it's okay to move forward, that I will be right behind her, every step of the way.


wildflowers said...

your post was very well written in expressing your thoughts!
and what a wonderful photo; the scenery of the rocks and your little one is beautiful.

Jennifer said...

Kindergarten sure has been a trial for a lot of our children, hasn't it? She's come so far, though. You are doing a great job!

Anonymous said...

You are an amazing person. It is hard to adopt a child. The changes she is going through often make her act out some times unintentionally. I am happy to hear you are getting through it. You are truly and inspiration to us all.

Kristen said...

YOU my friend are a wonderful mother! A treasure to your sweet girls. You inspire me... to provide these girls with a home, love and a family after all they have been through is truly one of the most unselfish loving acts! God knew you were to be their mother... He placed them with you and will give you the reassurance and structure you need to provide this little ones with what they need. He's right there with all of you every step of the way as well!
Love you my friend!!!!