Saturday, May 1, 2010

Birth family

A little over a month ago, I posted about contacting the twins' birth family. I am very glad that our friend was able to find them and make contact. I am glad that the birth mother is alive. But... it all feels weird and vaguely stressful to me as well. It feels weird for me to have these beautiful girls as my daughters knowing that my gain is someone else's loss.

I'm glad to know the truth behind the girls' adoption. I have decided not to share the details of how they came to the orphanage on my blog. It's a private story that belongs to the twins. It isn't a neat and tidy story of "true orphans"... but it is a story that I can live with and one that reflects a desire by their family to do the best thing for them.

We are still working out how we will maintain contact with the birth family. If any of you have experience with this, I would love to hear what you are doing. Meanwhile, here is the first tangible benefit of this new contact. We shared some photos, and we got this one.


Emily said...

Babies! So cute.

Becky and Naing said...

Wow, good for you Paula. So important to have more information for the twins.

Jane said...

Paula, I too keep in contact with my boys' birthmother in Uganda and am trying to figure out the logistics of that. It has been a bit of a struggle for us to deal with the fact that our boys are not "true orphans" which is what we had expected. However, I do see there will be lots of benefits that come from it. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her if she has any baby or early years pictures, but I don't quite know how. I also don't know how she would get them to me if she does and don't want her to feel obligated to send me what may be her only pictures. (Even though I would of course make copies and send them back). I am hoping when she receives the photo book I am sending her that will open the door to conversation about photos...
Anyway, best of luck to you as you figure out how to manage this new information. Thanks for sharing.

Kristen said...

What a darling photo... I am so thankful you have gotten some answers to the girl's journey.

My prayers continue for you and your family...and what the best thing for the girls will be as far as their birth family. The one thing I am certain of is this... although your girls were not from your own body... God knew they were your girls. He placed them with you and Tom! They didn't grow under your heart, but in your heart!


Brownie said...

Hi - just popping through.

We adopted our son - domestic, through the foster care system. I do know his family background - and know where his birth mom's family is. Although I have an "open" adoption there has been no contact except for an accidental meeting in a toy store a couple years ago.

I would like there to be contact; but the birthmom hasn't asked for it. It is just too hard on her. She loved her son, but just wasn't able to keep him safe.

That's my experience. Your's will be different. As moms we do what is best for our children.

Bennett said...

wow Paula so happy that you are getting happy!

those baby photos are awesome!!!!!