Wednesday, January 20, 2010

History... and the lack thereof

We had a rough night this evening at bedtime. Candace began to be very agitated out of the blue, and then began to cry about missing her family in Ethiopia. This was then followed by her loud and tearful insistence that if Daddy and Mommy hadn't wanted more kids, then she wouldn't have been separated from her great aunt in Ethiopia.

I tried really hard not to take it personally, but inside, I did. This is something that gnaws at me. I'm also angry. Angry and frustrated that the agency who placed the twins with us provided so little background. Angry that we suspect some of what we were told might not be completely true. Disheartened to hear many stories from many others who experienced some degree of deception during their adoptions with the same placement agency. So sad that my lack of knowledge hampers my ability to help my dear little one cope.

But always so, so in love with my little daughters.

My husband and I are committed to find out as much as we can. We have some missionary friends in Ethiopia who are going to try to help.

I also think that maybe two weeks in between therapy visits was too ambitious of a stretch at this point.

On a lighter note, because Emily says I'm going to lose my blog's fan base if I don't post pictures, here is a random cute photo:


Lori S said...

Cute picture!!
Not sure why we don't stay in contact since there are so many similarities in our situations!!
I so understand what you mean about not trying to take it personally when your children cry about what they've left behind--or what we've taken them from! It's hard to hear and hard to step back and see things from their perspective!! Hang in there!
We're staring equine therapy today--I'm very excited!!

steffany said...

Oh Paula,

My heart aches for ALL of you.
If it is any comfort..take faith in knowing God has them where he intended.
Please know if there is anyway Gedese can help in Ethiopia she would love to.

Jennifer said...

It's hard not to take it personally, though intellectually you know it's a hurt, confused child lashing out at people she knows she can trust.
It IS unsettling to hear all the stories of possible unethical practices. I really hope you can get more information, for the girls and for yourself.

Gina said...

I am so sorry to hear that they are struggling. This agency talk makes me concerned. I sure do hope that Shimiless can resolve some issues when he gets over there this weekend. I am trying to stay positive about my situation right now, but it is difficult. I will keep praying for your family and especially the girls. Stay strong sister!

Becky and Naing said...

Paula, so sorry! How heart breaking. Stay strong, things will get better. Hope you can find out some information for your sweet girls. They have such a loss to grieve and I know you can help them through it.

Bennett said...

Love the pic!

So sorry to hear all of what you are enduring. My goodness I know it has to be very hard my friend.

Pls. keep me posted on the info you are able to find out!
Praying for u and your family

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